Letting Go of your Coach (or firing)

[kittie067]

I have had hte same coach for 4 years. Many of you have probably read my complaints and know its not just a one time thing.

So how do you nicely tell your coach you are firing them?
And how do you find a new coach?

Thank you,

~kittie

[miraclegro]

I wouldn't use the word "firing."

I would just say that you are ready to move on, and your goals seem to be different than the coach you currently have. I don't think any coach, who is professional, will have a problem with that. What people get frustrated with is when a coach loses a student and the student never gives a reason why they chose to move on. Honesty with good etiquette is the best policy.

[Mel On Ice]

It may not work out as badly as you think.

I fired a coach for missing one too many of our lessons. She was a teenager in high school and tended to "forget" to come to the rink inbetween school, her own skating and soccer practice. Instead of thinking about being the bad guy for firing her, I thought about the lack of quality I was recieving for my investment.

When she called to apologize for missing another lesson, I told her it wasn't working out, I needed more time with her than she had. She was quiet, than apologized again and thanked me for being her student. She then recommended another coach that would probably work better for my time.

I still saw her at the rink, and even took a few group classes from her - she helped me prepare for my bronze MIF test. And she tested and passed me on at least one ISI freestyle test.

Honesty and a mature approach works best. Don't burn a bridge or say bad things behind their back, if you are skating in the same club/rink, you will have to interact with this person even if you are no longer taking lessons.

[VegasGirl]

Hm, that's a toughy... but I think a straight forward unemotional strategy would work the best. Just tell him/her... sorry but I don't think we're compatible. I really appreciate the help you've been giving me but it's time that I move on and find a better fit. I hope you understand...

I, on the other hand, have the exact opposite problem... I'm moving out of state and have to give up my current coach eventhough I do't want to... it breaks my heart... he isn't just a great coach but a friend and I will dearly miss him!

[kittie067]

aww poor thing vegasgirl!

Thanx for the advice keep it coming. (dont worry i wont use the term firing!)

~kittie

[jazzpants]

Kittie:

Do you have a coach you're thinking of going to? Also, does this longtime coach also teach your sister too? (I remembered that you have a younger sister?)

In any case, you don't want to burn any bridges. Thank the coach for everything the past 4 years, but let him/her know that you feel at this point that you would like to try a new coach to see what happens.

[mikawendy]

Hi, Kittie--

In case you're interested in reading more, there are some older threads about similar topics:

http://www.skatingforums.com/showthread.php?t=3996

http://www.skatingforums.com/showthread.php?t=4822

http://www.skatingforums.com/showthread.php?t=13659

Whatever you decide, I wish you luck and I hope it goes well. Above all, enjoy your time on the ice.

[Chico]

Be honest.

Be kind.

If your willing and their willing talk. Listen as well as talk. Can things be improved? If so, are you willing to be paitent? If not, be honest about this. If so, work out something your both happy about. Check in on the process. If not, say so.

No matter how you feel be polite! Maybe a friendship can be kept. Maybe not...but see how things go over time. These things take time. Feelings, yours and theirs need time to mend. "Firing" a coach is hard and hurts, it doesn't feel good to them too. Sometimes things just are. Sometimes you and they just need a different coach/student.

Good luck!

Chico

[kittie067]

For those who asked, yes, she also teaches my sister as well.

I sometimes feel she compares us, involintarily I'm sure, but still. We're both frustrated with my skating. And I feel sometimes she doesn't know "what else to do with me", if you take my meaning. I have already been asking around, and I have two other coaches in mind. Now it depends on whether who is more available.

keep the advice coming!!

~kittie

[Mrs Redboots]

For those who asked, yes, she also teaches my sister as well.Which you can certainly use as a reason to train with someone else - say that you feel you might make more progress if you didn't compare yourself with your sister all the time which, when you are both learning from the same teacher, you can't help but do (or words to that effect).

If you choose someone your teacher works well with, too, you may be able to have the best of both worlds - most lessons with the new teacher, but an occasional lesson with your present person, if only as a "different pair of eyes" before a competition.