Testing - push or no?

[morganm]

My 17 year old daughter is entering her senior year in HS. She has passed novice free but is not competitive as she has no triples or a double axel. I feel she has only one more year of mom and dad forking over $$ before college and should get moving on her junior test. She whines that she wants to compete and be competitive but I'm a realist, the big dogs skate in a day what she skates in a week. I feel that if she's going to do local comps, she's just as likely to do "well" at junior as novice. Most kids have given up competing at this age so the flights are smaller. She feels that testing means she's giving up. I don't seem to be able to get her to see what an accomplishment it would be to pass her junior FS. I'd even like her to get the senior test done while she still can land the double lutz. I'm ready to :giveup: She's a big girl who should be making her own decisions, but I really feel she'll regret no getting the testing done. Any advice?

[Big Mama]

That's a tough one. Is she done growing yet? I know some girls who were once brilliant, but can now only do one or two doubles because of their body changes. It sure would be a shame not to test higher while she still has the skills. Not to mention, there's always a possibility that the required elements for each test level can change - and they're certainly not going to get any easier. Also, if your daughter ever wants to coach, a higher test level could really help.

On the other hand, you don't want to push her to make a decision that she isn't comfortable with. She could end up blaming you for taking away her chance to remain competitive. :evil: Where I live, there usually are no Junior level skaters at the local competitions. If there are other Junior level skaters in your area, why don't you have your daughter skate up a level just so that she can try it out?

In my area, a lot of the older girls belong to the synchro team. This gives the girls a chance to remain competitive, form close friendships, and travel around the country. Another suggestion would be for your daughter to teach some Learn-to-Skate classes. If she's good at it, she could eventually end up with some private students - and make some money to fund her own lessons! Good luck! :)

[morganm]

Thank you Big Mama :bow:
Actually, she's been skating synchro for 8 years and loves it. She's the only one on her junior level team still doing free skating. Everyone gave it up long ago... Her body has changed - as a juvie she had 3 double combos in her program, she's lucky to land one now. Her coach is encouraging her to test too. She has 3 little private students and loves coaching. I've tried the "you'll need another gold to continue coaching" ploy. She's a stubborn one!

I do like the idea of trying skating up. I'll see what she says.

[stardust skies]

Hmm. Well, I have triples, so I guess it's slightly different, but I haven't won a major title (yet!). I graduated high school already, and my parents still support my skating full time. I just passed my Junior free recently, and this will be my first year as a Junior. I will probably only spend one year at this level, cause I'm not getting any younger, but even though I stayed in Novice a long time and was older than most of my competitors as a result, it was the right choice for me and I still did well. I don't see why skating has to end after high school is over, soooo many of my friends quit when they graduated, and they were so talented and loved it so much- they just thought it was "what you're supposed to do". So many people are rushed into the last couple of tests during their Senior year. If she wants to compete, and you don't want to support her anymore, can't she get a sponsorship? She's presumably spent so much time, so much energy, and so much love on this sport, it seems like a waste not to let her have a shot if she still wants it. I think it's ludricrous to think someone stops having a chance the day they graduate high school.

Meanwhile, there is a HUGE difference between Novice and Junior. Realistically, if she doesn't have a double axel, she couldn't even place at the Juvenile level. But she doesn't belong competing in Junior (even local comps) if she can't at least do a double axel and a couple of triples. If she feels at home in Novice, let her stay in Novice.

Why doesn't she have her triples? Has she trained for them? For how long? If she isn't training for them, then I don't know why she says she wants to compete, she knows there's no way she could finish less than last. If this is the case, then I agree that she should just test out so she can have it in the future should she want to coach. But if she wants to compete and is trying really hard to get her triples, then give her a little more time. Not everyone is a 10 year old skating wonder. Most boys don't even hit the Senior circuit until their 20's. Girls aren't all that different, it's just our society that makes us think girls are worthless after 18 (at least, in gymnastics, ballet, skating, etc...) and it's sad to see that idiocy being perpetuated.

If my parents told me that they didn't want me to skate anymore because I haven't won a big title yet, my life would be absolutely over. I wouldn't do anything else, that'd be it. I don't know how much your daughter loves the sport, but please, whatever you do, consider her feelings, and the love she may still have, as well as the hope that one day she'll be her personal best. That day might not come with high school graduation, and if you take away her dream then she might take it out on her college education and ruin her G.P.A.

Just the thoughts of someone who COULD be in this situation. I am thankful for my parents beyond belief when I read situations like these. :cry:

[the old gurl]

If she doesn't want to test up, don't push her. She has to do it because she wants to do it, not for anyone else. If she's content competing in 'local' competitions as a Novice, then let her do that. While the lack of the Senior test will hurt her initially as a coach, after a number of years, it will be her track record she'll depend on more.

I speak somewhat from experience -- my daughter is now 21 and got as far as her Novice Competitive test (I'm in Canada). She *did* get her Gold FS test (two testing streams in Canada), but gave on the Junior test when the double axel just wouldn't come for her. We're in a community where extra ice time and higher-quality coaching would have meant travelling a lot to get that, and she wasn't prepared to do that. It came down to, ultimately, what *she* wanted from her skating, not us. In the end, it kept her out of trouble, she *can* coach (if she ever finishes the certification process), and she's still skating some as an 'adult' while she attends university.

You push too hard, she's either going to resent the sport or you -- or both. If she 'wants that shot,' she'll go for it.

[google]

I don't seem to be able to get her to see what an accomplishment it would be to pass her junior FS.

Do YOU see what an accomplishment she has already achieved by passing Novice? Sorry, I shouldn't be so snide. The truth of the matter is that you are in a tough position as a parent (one I may be in myself in the next couple of years) However, she must be allowed to make her own decision. She may have a lot going on right now of which you may not be aware. Realistically, you're daughter is probably not competitive at either Novice or Junior in any competition large enough to have more than a couple of skaters in those categories. Entering her senior year, she may not want to work as hard as is required on her skating to be truly competitive but yet at he same time hold onto the "dream" all figure skaters have. The underlying truth of the matter is that she may not want to work as hard as is required to test up either. I assume she has all her moves (if not, I would suggest completing those obviously.) I would suggest you "make an appointment" with your daughter (and perhaps include her coach) to discuss what she would like to accomplish in the next year and how you can help her achieve that goal. You daughter has lots of options: even if she were to test up, she could still be competitive in artistic events. Frankly, this may be best for her anyway since only one program would be required. You'd just need to seek out the competitions which have them for the higher levels. Frankly, if I were in your shoes, I would want my daughter to test up as well. However, if she chose not to do so, that would be her decision and the regrets would belong to her, not me.

[Isk8NYC]

As a coach talking to another coach, I would advise her to take the test WHILE she can. It's very hard to go back and test later in life, especially once school gets in the way. She doesn't have to compete at that level to take the tests. When I started skating as a 19-year old, USFSA had nothing to offer me, so I tested/competed ISI and didn't really test USFSA at all. I sort of regret that now, because I would have gone far on paper.

Since she enjoys coaching (and it's a terrific part-time job in college) she should just take the tests and get the credit for all the hard work she's already put in. I'm sure she'll do fine. The PSA rankings can be based on how high she's tested, so that will pay off later if she joins the PSA.

[samba]

Morganm - For what it's worth, speaking as a parent of a late starter, I totally agree with you.

The problem is we all have had a dream at some time in our lives and letting go is the hardest lesson to learn, its a fine line between advice and discouragement and I dont envy you this one, all you can do is be there for her, what you say is realistic but hard for her to hear right now.

The fact is you have supported her morally and financially through her growing years in an extremely expensive and demanding sport, neither she or you have anything to kick yourselves or each other over, unfortunately unless you want it thrown back at you later I feel the decision has to be hers, no-one told me parenting could be this hard!

Best of Luck
Grace

[morganm]

Thank you all for your advice 8-) Just to clarify a few things that may have been misinterpreted...
She plans to skate synchro in college as well as do intercollegiate skating. We fully support this...she just won't have as much time and we won't have as much money once she goes to school. Luckily, she's finished all her moves tests.
We are thrilled with everything she's accomplished. We never measured her success by competing - she did regionals a few times and we were thrilled when she got in the single digits in the qualifying round. She just doesn't yet see testing up in the same way she sees competing. She's been working hard to get the triple sal and the double axel but they haven't shown up yet!
We will support whatever decision she makes, we're just hoping to have a little objective influence on it! :frus:

[samba]

I think she is a lucky girl to have so much support from you, you only have to read some of the threads on this forum to see that some youngsters are just left to it, with no encouragement at all. I'm sure she will succeed in whatever she does in life and you can take pride in that its all down to having a loving and supportive background.

Well done
Grace