nasty hockey players at my rink

[AuroraBorealis]

I recently started skating at a new rink, and there is a hockey session immediately after the figure skating sessions. The players are all guys, and they usually arrive a bit early, put their gear on, and then stand by the boards.
The other day a friend of mine was to meet me at the rink. She sat on a bench not too far from where the hockey players were standing and she was shocked at how rude, distusting and obnoxious they were and what kind of comments they were making. The comments focused on three young females (me included) and concerned their bodies - you don't want to know what sort of stuff they were saying!

Before, I just thought they were standing there watching. But knowing what sort of comments they're making, I now feel extremely self-conscious about skating there... Does anyone have this kind of problem? Do you know if there is anything that could be done to get them to stop?

[Clarice]

Reporting your discomfort to the rink manager is a good place to start, although I'm not sure you'll get any results. Are there any moms who regularly sit in the bleachers at the figure skating session? If you girls make the moms aware of the situation, they could hang around where the hockey guys are. That should put a bit of a damper on them! And if it doesn't, the moms will hear exactly what they are saying and can speak to rink management.

[Skate@Delaware]

Usually, the best thing to do is ignore them, unless they were intentionally loud and rude, then you might want to go and find the rink manager and let him/her know the type of comments that were made. Most rinks have rules about language (especially "locker room type") and if you let them know, they will have a word or two with the coach. The coach will let the boys know about "public behavior" and what is acceptable and to not do it again. At least at our rink that is how it is handled.

Be sure to let the manager know how many young ladies were present to hear that language, and how young they were. You don't say how old the boys were-sounds like teenagers or almost teens. No one should have to hear that kind of stuff in public! Take a parent for back up if you like (I usually go and complain if I hear stuff like that-a rink is no place for foul language-I'm a hockey and skate mom in addition to being a skater).

Let us know how it turns out!

[AuroraBorealis]

Reporting your discomfort to the rink manager is a good place to start, although I'm not sure you'll get any results. Are there any moms who regularly sit in the bleachers at the figure skating session? If you girls make the moms aware of the situation, they could hang around where the hockey guys are. That should put a bit of a damper on them! And if it doesn't, the moms will hear exactly what they are saying and can speak to rink management.

Nope, this is an adult session, and there are quite a few people in their 50s there. Only 3-5 ladies in their 20s. If there are any moms, they sit in a different area, and for sure can't hear them. :(

This is in the evening, so I'm not even sure if anyone from the management is around... do you think talking to the zamboni person would help?

[jazzpants]

Nope, this is an adult session, and there are quite a few people in their 50s there. Only 3-5 ladies in their 20s. If there are any moms, they sit in a different area, and for sure can't hear them. :(

This is in the evening, so I'm not even sure if anyone from the management is around... do you think talking to the zamboni person would help?Well, at my rink, the Zamboni person is usually the person who's managing the staff at that shift, so it certainly would help. At other rinks though... you could say to Zamboni "May I speak to the manager at this rink?" If that person isn't there, you could at least get a name, email address and a phone number and you can email or call the rink manager the next day! :D

Meanwhile, I'd go where the skating moms are sitting. It's safer in number, 'ya know...

[Skate@Delaware]

Yeah, I would go where the mom-types are sitting and say "could we sit by you because those boys...." and they sure would be protective from that point on! I know the moms at my rink are-especially when approached by others when there is a problem!

We had pre-teens being 'teased' by hockey boys on the ice and an ice-guard was ignoring it until the pre-teens mentioned it to the "moms" then the "moms" approached the ice-guard and told him to "end it quick or else!" which he did because he wasn't sure what the "or else" meant! (the pre-teens were boys and girls).

You could also have your mom/dad(s) call the rink during the daytime and talk to the manager and mention the incident. That might end it right there (usually more stuff goes on when the daytime manager is not there).

[Spider68]

I have a figure skating daughter (gold test - has moved on to college) and an ice hockey son (Midget 16AAA). In all the years that both have been on the ice, it's both mutual respect and mutual "baiting" by both sides.

1. Most hockey teams practice in the evening, well after the morning free-styles. If there is a late free-style, the first teams to get the early evening slot are probably the mites and squirts (6-10 year olds). I'm sure most of the comments are "juvenile" and promoted by young "macho-wannabees". Ignoring is the best recommendation, but a word to the coach or team manager will work wonders.

2. On the weekend, you have games, and can have players from any age coming in (mite to midget --- 6 year old to 18 year old). The older ones will have probably moved on from the oggling, but the Bantams (12-14) are most likely the ones to make comments. Of course, if you are out there doing your Brittany Spears ISI-type program, be prepared for the comments. Discretion is the word. Again, a word to the coach won't hurt, but if you are dressed and skating "suggestive" programs -- then don't act "insulted" by comments and whistles.

One of the biggest complaints is the failure of the figure skaters to exit the ice so that the zamboni can cut the ice. It's usually the "fault" of a coach that insists on getting one more program skated and won't yield the ice until the routine is complete. The hockey team has paid for a practice/game slot and there are several more after. If you stay extra, they don't get to make up the time. You've skated on their ice.

Overall, it's respect. Believe me, my son and his team-mates are in awe of the skating speed and ability of figure skaters -- my daughter used to be asked by the hockey coach to "shame" the boys into skating harder and with better technique as she "out-skated them around the rink. They all know that good hockey starts with good skating technique.

So before you go trashing hockey players, make sure you're not instigating comments and you respect their practice slot by getting off the ice.

[AuroraBorealis]

Just to explain further, this is an evening session for adults, booked for by the club of which we're all members. Most people are middle-aged, there are some 30s and four or five ladies in their 20s (including me). There are no skating moms there! And skaters have to get off the ice when the zamboni man rings the bell.
The hockey players are men in their late 20s and 30s, who comment upon things such as: shape of the legs, bum; size of bum, tights, breasts. The only comments related to actual skating are "there she goes down again" or "wow, that girl just fell, she never falls, it's the other one who always falls." At one point a skater nearly fell while attempting a jump and ended up in some awkward position, with her bottom sticking out at the guys. Comment? "Wow, look at this, we got a butt to see!"

The locker rooms are right by the ice, and thus the guys can stand right by the ice and look. There is nobody else there but them, and people on the ice can't hear them. The only reason why I know what kind of comments they're making was because my friend was there and heard them.

And no, Spider68, I'm not trashing hockey players or disrespecting their practice time. Nobody there skates "suggestive" programs, either, they come to work on their skating skills and elements.

[flippet]

I feel for you. In my experience, the 'adult' hockey players are the worst...they simply never grow up. The kids, you can stare down and intimidate, if necessary...the 'adults' seem to have taken one too many blows to the head, and it won't sink in.

I would say, it depends on the comments. If it's just a few 'wolf whistle' type things, I'd ignore it. On the other hand, if you're truly feeling harassed, definitely, definitely take it up with management, and make that very clear. These blockhead types seem to think they can get away with anything, and don't have to answer to anyone for it. (The sad truth is, they often don't, because management doesn't give a care.) But perhaps if you make some sort of comment that suggests the kind of trouble the rink could be in if anything were to happen to one of these ladies as a result....maybe that might light a fire under management's tush.

[Spider68]

I recently started skating at a new rink

1. Go back to your old rink (evidently wasn't a problem there since you mention this is happening at your new rink), or, since you mention it's a club session, ask your club to move it when there is no adult hockey league imeediately after.
2. Develop a tougher outer skin. Talking to rink management about curbing the behavior of adult hockey league won't get you anywhere. Just for your information - adult hockey leagues make BIG money for the rink because the participants/teams typically pre-purchase ice in big chunks.
3. Ignore them. Unless they are making lewd gestures and audible noises that you and others can CLEARLY hear and see on the ice and it causes you to become injured ("sticks and stones may break my bones, but words...."), it's going to be tough to get the rink management to do much. You could threaten legal action ("sexual harassment"), but the rink could also ask YOU to leave ("We reserve the right to refuse service.")

Out of curiousity: Where is the rink of which you speak? Typically, the adult hockey leagues at most rinks are very late in the evening, which means your club session must be around 8:30 pm - 9:00 PM? And, the comment about adult hockey players doesn't apply at our rink (San Jose), since my husband plays and his team has its share of doctors, lawyers, CPAs, etc. Not your "goons" and "oafs".

[AuroraBorealis]

Out of curiousity: Where is the rink of which you speak? Typically, the adult hockey leagues at most rinks are very late in the evening, which means your club session must be around 8:30 pm - 9:00 PM? And, the comment about adult hockey players doesn't apply at our rink (San Jose), since my husband plays and his team has its share of doctors, lawyers, CPAs, etc. Not your "goons" and "oafs".

I didn't say it was your rink. :) And neither did I imply that it was the same rink anyone from the boards skates at. It's in a large Canadian city.
There are two sessions, 6:30-7:30 pm and 7:30 to 8:30 pm. I skate 7:30-8:30 pm, and we actually don't get our 60 minutes because they do resurfacing between the two sessions, and that takes up to 7 minutes.

If I could skate at my old rink, I would. Anyhow, skating there is from 5 pm to 9 pm as well, and hockey players have the other rink (they're next to each other, and there's actually only one set of boards). Because hockey players are practicing at the same time as skaters do, they don't get a chance to loonk on and/or comment.

I don't mind people watching. I just don't think that commenting upon skater's bodies and level of sexual attractiveness is appropriate, period.

[SkaterGeek]

Oy, this is a toughie, and you *definitely* have my sympathy!
I have a couple of thoughts - they may be stupid, but in the offhand chance
they're useful, here they are:

Can you sneakily tape The Potty-Mouth Brigade in action, and play the tape
back for management? Maybe mentioning that allowing such behavior could lead to a very bad rep for the rink (not that you'd spread anything bad; people coming in and overhearing, would!) might get their attention more than just saying that it bothers one or two current skaters?
Or is there someone who rink management particularly respects and/or fears? Perhaps that person could come in and listen to the Potty-Mouth Brigade and that person could complain to the rink management folks.
Or, however you mention the problem to the rink management people,
maybe offer alternatives, like have the hockey people wait in another area
("gee, we're working on the flooring here," or "that area has "x" amenities
that you'll find are nicer"...), or maybe have big sheets of paper or cheap
fabric you can put up to block their view, or at least make it inconvenient to
stand there and ogle?
It (unfortunately) does no good, I discovered long ago, to ask such people to stop. They just either think your request is hilarious or get nasty.
In any case, good luck! :frus:

- SkaterGeek

p.s. disclaimer - I've known nasty hockey players and very gentlemanly
hockey players. I also do not intend to convey that I think all hockey
players are Potty Mouths.

Just to explain further, this is an evening session for adults, booked for by the club of which we're all members. Most people are middle-aged, there are some 30s and four or five ladies in their 20s (including me). There are no skating moms there! And skaters have to get off the ice when the zamboni man rings the bell.
The hockey players are men in their late 20s and 30s, who comment upon things such as: shape of the legs, bum; size of bum, tights, breasts. The only comments related to actual skating are "there she goes down again" or "wow, that girl just fell, she never falls, it's the other one who always falls." At one point a skater nearly fell while attempting a jump and ended up in some awkward position, with her bottom sticking out at the guys. Comment? "Wow, look at this, we got a butt to see!"

The locker rooms are right by the ice, and thus the guys can stand right by the ice and look. There is nobody else there but them, and people on the ice can't hear them. The only reason why I know what kind of comments they're making was because my friend was there and heard them.

And no, Spider68, I'm not trashing hockey players or disrespecting their practice time. Nobody there skates "suggestive" programs, either, they come to work on their skating skills and elements.

[SkaterGeek]

Sorry, just had another thought. If any of the hockey players
hanging around aren't stinkers, maybe y'all could make "allies" of them.
Just be friendly, say hi, whatever (being careful not to give the impression
that you're hitting on them, of course...) - and maybe they'll start yelling at the others when they get juvenile.
And how do their coaches feel about them making comments like that?

- SkaterGeek

[Mel On Ice]

fight fire with fire. I had to get all "adult" on a bunch of 10-to-12 hockey players who were making fun of a couple girls in the corner where they were working on elements. I shot them dirty looks and mouthed "knock it off" and they proceeded to get even more obnoxious. They then started to throw rubber balls (the gumball kind) and Life Savers candy on the ice, trying to hit a little girl. Something came over me, and I jumped off the ice, collared one of the kids, and dragged him to a huddle of hockey dads. With a snarl, I asked "is this one of yours?" and promptly tattled on him.

We got silent hockey players Thursday nights for many months after.

[Michigansk8er]

Go Mel!!!!!! :bow: :bow: :bow:

[IceSk8Princess]

ive been around lots of hockey players at my rink where i skate and everything is cool with the figure skaters and hockey players. most of the figure skaters at my rink have dated the hockey players. infact i was one of them. so most of us figure skaters there have an understanding. but in your case talk to the manager of the rink and tell them u have been having troulbe with them being rude and they could talk to them or their coaches about it. good luck, i hope the hockey players start acting nicer for u. :-)

[slusher]

What you can do is go and talk to them (or get the rink guy) and say "hey, we've got the ice until this time, stay out of the rink until we're off". The zamboni guy can talk to the person that booked the ice and say that their rental will be pulled unless they behave. If it's a kids team, talk to the coach. It's almost easier when it's a man's factory league, I usually say "does your wife know what you're saying" or sometimes to be as rude as they, "does your mommy know what you're saying".

Part of skating and competing is ignoring who is in the stands and having focus on the skating. Whether it's skatemomsfrom hell, horny hockey players or idiot teenagers, you've got to grow a thicker skin to do this sport.

I will add, last year I skated on ice after an NHL team for a couple of weeks. What courteous, polite gentlemen they were to us adult skaters. The cream does rise to the top.

[stardust skies]

I would personally go to the management and threaten to file a police report for verbal abuse/harrasment if they didn't make it stop IMMEDIATELY. If they didn't, I'd go ahead and file the report. I really would. This is unexcusable. I've never had to deal with anything like that. We get hockey players and random passer-bys who watch our freestyle sessions sometimes, but most of them come up to us afterwards and tell us how amazing the things we do are and how they could never do them. I've had nothing but great experiences with hockey players. But the thing is that just because this is an ice rink, doesn't mean regular civil laws don't apply. If you're being consistenly harrassed by one or more people, then you file a charge against them. May seem drastic, but you've got the right not to put up with that crap, especially from grown adults who SHOULD know better. In the days where rapists run rampant on the streets and office sexual abuse lawsuits are at an all time high, you can't be expected to KNOW their lewd comments aren't threats. Treat them as such. "Zero tolerance" shouldn't only be for overheated parents who get pissed off when their kid loses the game.

[Spider68]

Allegedly, this is in Canada. In the US, yes, you could file a report with the police, and the onus will be on you to provide definitive, corroborating evidence that there is "abuse, harrasment, and/or threats" that are specifically targetting you (not to other skaters on the ice in general), and that you have suffered "injury" or have proof that you are "at risk of attck and/or injury) from said persons making these verbal comments. You will also have to demonstrate that the rink ownership was clearly aware of this targetted behavior (to you) and was aware of your "injury/fear" from said verbal abuse, and wantonly allowed and encouraged this behavior. Heresay and second-hand so-and-so also heard it, etc. won't fly. By the time you've successfully managed to file and get a ruling in your favor, you will have either 1) been politely asked to leave the rink (owners have the right to refuse service, and you will be considered a "high mainenance/problem client"), and/or 2) learn to ignore it (as some others have suggested).

[dooobedooo]

Have a word with management, and get them to nip it in the bud. They will know an appropriate way to do it; they probably have loads of experience in dealing with this sort of thing.

After all, you are a paying customer, and need to be looked after.

[jazzpants]

OMG!!! MEL!!! http://instagiber.net/smiliesdotcom/kao/otn/bloblaugh.gif
That'll teach 'em hockey kids to be disrespectful!!! http://instagiber.net/smiliesdotcom/kao/otn/blob_box.gif

And yes, not all hockey players are bad. We have tons of hockey guys on Monday nights that are very good on their edges... and a gentleman off the ice!!! (And of course, we all LOVE our ice guard Monday nights, though he's half speed skater, half hockey... so I don't know if that counts...) :P

[Moto Guzzi]

Good for you, Mel! We had a group of hockey players who were about 10 - 12 who played before our freestyle session. They would come out of the team rooms and shout insults at the figure skaters and even throw soda cans on the ice. They amused themselves by practicing their slap shots against the side of the rink and refused to stop no matter how many times our monitor asked them to. The rink personnel wouldn't come out and tell them to stop, either. Not one of their coaches or parents said a word to them about their behavior.

One day when our freestyle session was on one rink and a hockey game was being played on the other, I left the ice to retrieve my tape from my car. I came into the lobby to find a hockey fight going on. It wasn't the players who were brawling; it was the parents! The fathers and a few mothers were duking it out in the lobby while the teenager behind the desk was frantically calling 911 to come break it up. 8O

[sk8er1964]

It wasn't the players who were brawling; it was the parents! The fathers and a few mothers were duking it out in the lobby while the teenager behind the desk was frantically calling 911 to come break it up. 8O

We had some new players join our team (9-10 year olds) this spring, because on their old team the coach's wife and another mother had a brawl in the hotel bar during the district tournament, while a couple of the dads were fighting in the hallway upstairs. 8O :roll:

That said, most (not all) of the people I have met in the hockey world have been pretty nice, although some of the hockey dads can put the skating moms from he!! to shame. Sounds like the adults bothering the OP are simply jerks - they are probably jerks off ice too.

Oh, and I'm known as the "toepicker" to the kids on my son's team - I joke around all the time with the boys :lol: . The coach told his son that while the kids on the team can probably beat me going forward (they can), he'd lay money on my being able to beat them in a race going backwards! (Probably true, for another year or so.) There's already respect for figure skaters by the coaches on our team, and I think my being a "toepicker" and my son's pride in my accomplishments have made his teammates see figure skaters in a different light. At least until puberty hits :roll: .

[Shinn-Reika]

hmm well as a former hockey player I can tell you that when you're around your boys, it's basically a contest to see who can resurface ther rink with the most testosterone.

So when men watch figure skating, espcially when gearing up for hockey, they pretty much try and act like men. It's just the way our minds work. We want to demontrate that we're the toughest guys oon the block, because we beleive it is what garners respect within our rank. Going along with this line of thought, what do you expect them to do.

Hence this is the cause of the catcalls, and innappropriate comments, thuglike hooligan behavior, and whatnot. They basically have to make sure their response to what you're doing doesn't immasculate them.

Now obviously they're wrong. I've emmerged unschathed and yet I'm immersed deep deep in this sport. Heck I'll biellmann and spiral till the bloody cows come home, and I've yet to get a dissaproving response (assuming I get a response at all).

If I were you I'd try more to achieve respect than getting them to stop. I mean if someone is going to come out and outwardly say they don't respect you then that's when a third party might need you to be induced. If I were at you're rink I'd back you up, not starting anything mind you.

Anyway good luck. I hope you don't realize that hockey players are mindless jerks. Obviously this is more of an extreme case, Just remember that it's all about respect something that everyone can ackknowledge for us to live in peace.

[MannyisHOT]

ya well at my rink the hockey players always skate after me and they laugh when i fall and when i go to do my double sal they go: "Why dont you whip off a triple sal?!" and then i screw up my double and it really pisses me off.... so one time after skating all of the girls in my changeroom gathered our ice from our blades and opened the changeroom door and whipped ice at them.... it was pretty much melted anyway... and then when we were walking out of the changeroom one guy hooked me with his hockey stick and i almost fell over and it like undid my bra... and i was o great and left...

[AuroraBorealis]

Thanks for all the responses and suggestions. :)

Well, I didn't do anything in the end - I only have two sessions left at this rink and will be only too happy to get ouf of there - not so much because of those guys but because the ice is just so HORRIBLE there!
My lessons usually take place in the corner by which they stand, so that's a bit uncomfortable, but if I can, then I go to the other end of the rink as soon as they start to assemble. I really don't know what's worse at that rink, those guys or the condition of the ice!