Help me with my attitude!! (long--sorry!)

[backspin]

Okay, I'm an ice dancer, on my last silver dance.

Right after I passed my second dance (about a month ago), my coach started working on my basic skating, as far as depth of knee bend, and free leg extension. He wants me lower, much lower. And the free leg higher & more extended. SO, he's been giving me lots of exercises to work on that. Which is great, I'm all for looking better, being stronger and more stable. I work very hard, 6 days a week, on my exercises. I do at least half my practice time on them, before I run any patterns or work on other steps, and then repeat them again at the very end of the session. These are not complicated: they're just things like outside edges, with as extreme knee bend as I can summon; forward strokes with double knee bend, the 2nd deeper than the first; progressives that go from high, to medium, to extreme low, etc. And I know that it has gotten better.

But every time I go in for my lesson, he takes a look at me & we go back to the outside edges, progressives, stroking, etc. And here's where I need help! I get frustrated that it hasn't improved enough when I've worked so hard, I get worried that he'll think I haven't been working on it, and then my pride kicks in and starts saying in my head, "Look, you're almost a pre-gold dancer, and you can't even do progressives or stroking the right way!" So then I'm trying not to cry, and skating hard in my lesson & getting out of breath because my throat's all constricted from half-crying, and I start to hyperventilate and really cry, and I can't breathe, and it's not pretty! That's the most extreme situation, which has only happened once (this week :cry: ), but it's got to stop!!

Note: this is NOT my coach's fault; he's been nothing but kind, understanding, and gentle. Even apologetic: "I'm sorry, but this is the only way." I trust him completely that he knows what he's doing.

I need to replace the frustration in my head with a different attitude that will be constructive and more patient with myself , because this is a process that simply won't happen overnight.

Any ideas? HELP!

[TashaKat]

Hi

Can't really help with your 'head' but I wish that I could transport you back to when my old instructor was teaching her top kids (Solo Dance Champions, kids skating in the British Nationals) and had them doing EXACTLY the same thing! To my eye they were extremely good but, as she used to say, the basics are probably the most difficult part of skating to get RIGHT!!

Yes, most of us can do them after a fashion but to do them perfectly is a very rare talent. The other problem is that once you've 'got' them then making improvement week after week is so much more difficult. You aren't going to have the huge leaps that you do when you're learning something, there may not even BE an improvement to the 'naked' eye. It could be that your arm has moved a millimetre, your shoulder is back a centimetre, your knee bend is slightly deeper.

Don't lose heart hun, if we could be perfect at skating then it wouldn't be as addictive :)

All the best



x

[dbny]

and then my pride kicks in and starts saying in my head, "Look, you're almost a pre-gold dancer, and you can't even do progressives or stroking the right way!"


Of course you can do progressives and stroking perfectly fine, but with each level, even the basic moves must be improved. Even the elite skaters still work on crossovers, progressives and stroking. If you look at the moves tests, you will see many elements repeated as the tests get harder, but the standard for passing gets higher also. This is what you are up against, not an inability to do simple moves "the right way", but the struggle to do them to ever higher standards. The process is like peeling an onion. You get the first layer off, and say "very good, I can do this". Then you see there is another layer, and you peel that layer....etc.

Give yourself credit for being the fine skater you are, and keep up the hard work. It sounds to me like you are putting the shine on the apple, and because it involves very subtle changes to your skating, instead of obvious things like new moves, it feels frustrating. Keep telling yourself that you are not correcting, but refining.

[dooobedooo]

I think you could take heart by doing more cross-training and fitness work away from skating, perhaps in the gym.

Anything that helps knee bend (one legged squats, exercise bike), quads (sitting with one leg extended), legs and stamina generally (running uphill, stretches), leg extensions (there is a gym machine where you raise your leg backwards to lift a weight), plenty of stretches.

You could also do off-ice work practising edges, extensions, posture, kneebend in front of the mirror.

Then you could justify using more of your on-ice time "just for having fun" - I mean, isn't that why we take up skating in the first place ....?

[Mrs Redboots]

Why not ask your coach if you could do one lesson on your elements, and spend the next lesson just dancing? That way, you could get all the "elementary" (pun not really intended) stuff out of the way in one fell swoop, knowing you had some fun to come.

I get really down, too, working on my backwards skating - I've been skating very nearly ten years now, and it's only just beginning to happen! But then, I'm not a natural athlete, and my coach thinks that being that, and starting at my age, I've done wonders. I disagree!

But everybody, no matter how senior, has to work on their edges and turns all the time; it's no shame. Make sure you run through absolutely everything in your warm-up, all your exercises, and with any luck you won't be asked to repeat most of them in your lesson - that's what happens to me, anyway!

[nerd_on_ice]

Of course you can do progressives and stroking perfectly fine, but with each level, even the basic moves must be improved.

My thought exactly. I am nowhere near your level (have not even tested Pre-Bronze yet :oops: ) but I feel like I've learned stroking & crossovers ...and then re-learned (improved) them...and then re-learned (improved) them again...and then re-learned (improved) them AGAIN... and I know it will happen a million more times.

Maybe it would help to think of working on basics as if you're taking a ballet class. It doesn't matter if you're 6 years old or if you're a prima ballerina, you start every class with pliés, every day, forever, and the teacher will probably have some corrections for your pliés. But the 6-year-old (me :lol: ) and the prima ballerina won't get the same corrections--that's the proof that you are improving.

I also second dooobedooo's suggestion of working on those muscles off-ice. If nothing else it could make the on-ice drills less physically demanding.

[isk84kalan]

I know EXACTLY how you feel.

My coach last year was very tough, and EVERYTHING had to be to perfection. I had to go to a compitition and dance the Canasta. She got me doing the same thing your coach is doing. Streching for MAXIMUM leg extention, perfect this and that. Even the finest details. I was starting to want to kill her. :evil:

Then, the compitition came along. She still coaches me, even in the dressing room. Ankle rotations, leg stretches, EVERYTHING. Then I skated. It was almost like magic as Iskated so perfectly. The judges were smiling as they marked me. I was so perfect (except for a few fumbles :oops: ), my coach almost cried. Then, the results came around (nerve-wracking 8O ) and I got #2nd!!! So you see, it will all pay off. No matter how much you wanna cry. Just...CRY. It will relieve you, and your coach may ease-up a bit. (Mind you, coaches don't really like to do that because they know what you are capable of).

Work Hard, Practice Harder, Skate Your Hardest

REMEMBER: Coaches know what you can do, so go to your FULL potential, and don't let them down. They are like your second parents. :D

[doubletoe]

Well. . . What if you were the coach and not the skater? You would probably be thinking, "Hmm, she doesn't seem to be satisfied with her progress on these strokes. Maybe she's starting to think I'm a lousy coach and she'll go find herself another coach, and that will be $__ less per week I'll have to cover my bills." Maybe your coach is judging him/her-self harshly and not judging you at all, just like you are judging yourself harshly and not judging your coach at all.

So just relax and just enjoy the process, since you are getting the coaching you want and your coach is getting paid by the minute. :)

[backspin]

THANK YOU very much for all your encouraging words & suggestions! I love the ballet class analogy, & also the stories of the elite skaters doing the same things. It has helped.

*backspin starts gearing up now for her lesson tomorrow a.m.* :)

[icedancer2]

The other thing that strikes me about what your coach is doing is that he is getting you ready for the GOLD level, which is exponentially higher than the Silver level in dance. You will need better stronger stroking, edges, knees, etc., so why not start to get it now!!!??

I also have come to think that you are ready to test about a month after you think the dance is ready. Then when you actually take the test, you will skate like you did about a month ago (never as good as you do now in practice), but then a month ago's practice you were fine for that level and so you pass.

That doesn't make sense, does it?

Clarification may come later. Who knows? Have fun with your dances.

I find myself going back to basics again and again and again and find more nuance in them all the time. What fun! :bow:

[Mrs Redboots]

You have to. I spend almost all my lesson today working on chassés, which is boring but necessary. And they are better than they were. But I expect I'll still have the occasional lesson working on chassés when I'm 90 (hope I'll still be skating then!).

[CanAmSk8ter]

Backspin, I don't know what to tell you except I'm going through the exact same thing right now, and I'm also on my last Silver dance. My coach had originally talked about me retesting it in December (he really thought I should have passed it last time) and wanted me to do more off-ice to get ready. Well, it took me awhile to get the off-ice set up and he hasn't said anything else about having me test. We've actually gone on and started the Pre-Golds because he doesn't think there's anything we can do on the ice to fix things until I'm a little stronger. I really wanted to finish this %^*(* test by the end of the year, but we'd have to be putting test papers in somewhere within a week or two. I like having something new to work on, but I can't totally enjoy it when I feel like, ok, shouldn't I be working on the dance I still haven't passed for this level first? :evil:

[CanuckSk8r]

There has been great advice given, and I agree with it. Your coach is preparing you for the preciseness and quality of the gold level. Try to think of it as your coaching is helping you acheive the difference between doing it and doing it well.
Sort of like this, anyone can step on the ice and skate around, but it's the ones that grab your attention and capture your soul that made us want to skate ourselves. You want to be the one that no one can take their eyes off.
Try not to get discouraged and in the meantime, maybe ask your coach for a lesson that you can just dance. Tell your coach you are getting discouraged on the basics, I am sure they will understand!
Good luck, happy dancing!

[sk8ndancr]

I think lots of times judges are harder on you when they know it is the last dance you need to pass on that level, so maybe your coach really wants you to look superb for that last test, which is why he's spending a lot of time on basics. But I can see your point too, and sometimes when you get that frustrated, your mind is telling you, "Hey, I need a break from this for a while!!" And it is hard to improve when you get that tense. I would ask your coach if your lessons could be broken up into 3 parts:
1. basics
2. work on that last dance you need and
3. intro to something new, perhaps on the next level or two of dances, whether it be patterns, or a new skill or a new combination of steps...
Sometimes you just need to go in and say, "Hey, I really need to have a fun lesson today, can we do something new and different?"
And sometimes when you work on something different for a while, it takes the pressure off, and when you go back to what you were doing before, it ends up being better than when you were making yourself sick over it!!
I know that for myself, I am never ready to test dances until I can skate the next level reasonably well slowly at least, and just working on the higher dances for fun without worrying about having to test them for a long time teaches me skills that improve the lower level dances. Good luck, and remember, this is supposed to be FUN! too!