i need help

[babeonblades]

over the last week i have had a sinking thought that i'm pregnaunt and soo i went to the doctor and he confirmed my suspician im 19 and training for senior nationals next year so that means training 5 hour days and triples and me and my pairs partner are also senior but not nationals yet and i am thinking i will probably have an abortion because i know its impossible to train and do majr jumps with a baby inside of me but i also dont like the idea of killing something can anyone help me out please

i reely hope this is the right post for this???

[NetExpress]

A baby demands a lot of your time and money than you ever expect. I am not encouraging you to have an abortion. However, I do think if you don't give all of you to the baby, it's very unfair to a little life.

On the other hand, if you can find financial support for baby and you, and you are willing to give up your competitive skating (at least for a while) for it, then go for it. You can't imagine how wonderful it is to be a mother. It's better than landing a triple axel!

[Cinderella]

You must be feeling about a million conflicting emotions right now, and I wish I could say that someone on the skating board here could resolve your dilemma, but that would be dishonest.

The situation you are in is far too important and serious to seek help from "unqualified strangers" such as ourselves.

You are not the first person to be in this situation, nor will you be the last. But every situation is so completely different that it would not serve your best interests for us to provide guidance, as we don't really know you.

You need to seek guidance from people you trust and who love you and want what's best for you, and also from people who are qualified to help you make the difficult medical, mental, and perhaps spiritual decisions that this situation calls for. Each of these decisions has its own consequences, and you will have to weigh what is best for you in the end. You'll want to explore ALL of your options, and you want to seek out advice from those who will be objective, truthful and knowledgeable, and not just spout rhetoric from their own personal agendas.

However, let me offer you the thought that no matter what you decide, stand by your decision and make it work for you. Be good to yourself, give yourself some time to think this through, and listen to your brain and your heart.

What we CAN do here is to have you in our thoughts and wish for you the strength to come to the correct decision for you.

(((Hugs)))

[babeonblades]

thank you guys soo much yes i don't want you to make a decision for me but i would just like any input from people because i want to know all the facts before i do anything

[Chico]

Please talk to your Mom. If you can't, then talk to some trusted adult. You must feel very worried, confused and upset. You need support! This is a huge decision. It probably isn't the right time for a baby. Saying that, you need to make the right choices for you, partner, and baby. IF you decide to have an abortion you will carry this decision forever. You will. IF you KEEP the baby this decision will be forever. It will. And, IF you give the baby up for adoption this will be long term. This is why you need to talk with a supportive adult and THINK hard. Good luck.

Chico

[flo]

I would also agree that you may wish to speak with people you trust. If you can speak with other skaters who have been at your level. Speak with moms. Ask people who have given up babies, and listen to those who have had an abortion. Then take a breath and listen to yourself.

Take care of yourself

[Mrs Redboots]

My mother had two unplanned babies, including me. She says that, no matter how much you think you don't want a child, when it arrives, you wonder how on earth you managed without it!

It's a decision that only you can make; but there are plenty of people around to talk to. If you can't talk to your own parents, then go to one of the many excellent counselling services that are available for young people.

Also, what of your boyfriend? What does he think? It's his baby, too, after all.

[Canskater]

You must be totally overwhelmed right now .... but it really is possible to do both ... if you have a good family support system. A good example of someone who found herself in a very similar situation to the one you are in is Kristy Sargent-Wirtz. Kristy had a health daughter, and continued to skate competitively ... making both World and Olympic teams. It can be done.

-- sheilagh

[babeonblades]

yes to mrs. redboots the father is my pairs partner and he doesnt know yet but i told my mom and she says it would be reely hard to go back for me because we r paying over 50 000 dollars a year and she knows how easily i can start to slip up if i stop training for short periods of time but i'll talk it over with my partner and we will come to a decision together but all i know is i have no income im not working at all rite now just skating sooo that would be another hard aspect thank you guys soooo much for you hellp

[Mrs Redboots]

Poor old Babe! Lots of hugs - and may you be guided to make the right decision. If you can, wait a day or so after you've made it to be absolutely sure. And visualise how you would feel after making one decision, and how you would feel after making the other.

Go with your heart.

[peshu]

It's wonderful that you were able to talk to your mom about this, and as you weigh all your alternatives, keep her advice in mind because no one knows you or loves you the way a mom does. I would suggest seeking out a trained counselor, someone who has no emotional investment in you, in addition though. Your mind and heart must be reeling right now, and a trained counselor will help you sort things out. A good counselor will not push any particular agenda or point of view, but will ask you the sorts of questions that will help you focus your feelings and thoughts so that you can reach the best decision for you. As Cinderella said, whatever decision you make, stick by it and make it work for you.

(((HUGE HUG))))

[Justine_R]

Im sorry to say it but this is your descion and not anyone else on this boards.

This is a baby!!!You need to talk to someone you know and trust about how to work this out, say for instance your mom or the father of your baby, this is up to you and no one lese on this boards so if you want advice ask someone you know and trust because if you make the wrong descion then its over so ya talk to your mom or sum1

[Mrs Redboots]

Justine, if you had read through this thread, you would have seen that nobody has presumed to tell Babeonblades what to do, other than to talk to her parents, boyfriend and/or a counsellor. Any decision, as you so rightly say, is for her to make.