This Used to Be Such a Nice Neighborhood....

[Black Sheep]

That is what I think of my local seasonal rink right now, and I can't believe all this is happening to me! It's all because of that new lady who's old enough to be my mother but skates like a novice/junior teen.

Just this afternoon I was practicing my Cats Interp. program when, just as I was starting it with my music playing, she had the nerve to say to me, in a high-and-mighty condescending manner, "Excuse me, I don't appreciate you making sudden moves at me."

What I didn't appreciate was the way this lady was talking down to me when I was just trying to practice my program! As I hurried to find the skating-school manager, I ended up storming into the "Employee's Only" office (oops!). In an angry panic I tried to report the incident to the head manager, but I got in response was, "Don't storm in here, I'm in a meeting!"

When I finally found the skating-school manager in the "team room", she had already found out what had happened, and she told me that the offender actually felt bad about it, that she thought I'd offended her (which was true). I also got another lecture about how they can't kick anybody out unless one's personal safety is threatened.

The bottom line is, it just seems so wrong that I have to put up with people and incidents like this at a rink that was not too long my favorite one in the world. I have a bad feeling that I'm going to end up sitting in traffic in order to skate elsewhere this winter....
:cry: ("Cry, cry, cry 96 tears....")

[Lutzgirl]

No i dont think u have been insulted......i think u just had finished your program and was tired and then this lady jus pops up in your face and starts saying this..............I just think that she had missinterpreted everything that had happened and so had u.....
But thats ok ..are u 2 ladys friends now and dont take it the wrong way but sometimes there is alot controversy or tension with the older skaters at the rink...........or maybe am i smelling a hint of jealousy because this lady skates like a novice/junior teen


I hope this is an offensive post but maybe to find out the real facts i might have to talk to her aswell..and im not calling you a lier but i think you both have taken this definetly the wrong wayy:):roll: :) :)


lutzgirl..........................rules the world

[Black Sheep]

Originally posted by Lutzgirl
i think u just had finished your program and was tired and then this lady jus pops up in your face and starts saying this

No, she started shouting at my right when I was starting my program, thus I had to stop right then and there and not even finish it. Therefore, she actually interrupted it! How rude is that??

Also, I am NOT jealous of this lady--I just can't understand why she has to bully me like this! :roll:

[skaternum]

Black Sheep, I'm not trying to be belligerent or insulting, but I've noticed a trend in your posts over the last year or so. Someone does something to you, like deny you a part in an ice show or keep you from teacing or insult you on the ice. Then you get offended. It seems like you're really, really overly sensitive or paranoid. Why is everyone always "against you"? Why is everyone always bullying you? Is there more to this story?

[Black Sheep]

Originally posted by skaternum
Black Sheep, I'm not trying to be belligerent or insulting, but I've noticed a trend in your posts over the last year or so. Someone does something to you, like deny you a part in an ice show or keep you from teacing or insult you on the ice. Then you get offended. It seems like you're really, really overly sensitive or paranoid. Why is everyone always "against you"? Why is everyone always bullying you? Is there more to this story?

It's not my fault. It's just one of those trends in which bad things happen to good people.

I get frustrated when I work hard and treat people nicely, and people don't reciprocate. When I tried to get on the teaching payroll, I made a lot of phone calls trying to get an application, and it took forever for the new manager to get me an application, because my friend for whom I did student teaching for last year simply left without a trace or reason why. As a result, when the new skating school director took over (just three weeks ago), she had no idea I wanted a paid position. And, they had lost my application when I turned it in on purpose!

In spite of my screenname, I'm really not a bad person. Most of my posts on this board are pretty cool and/or positive (tooting my own horn, I know). 8-)

[Black Sheep]

I actually have worse problems to deal with right now. Please see my "Dixie" thread in "Non-Skating Discussions" Thank you.

[dbny]

You have my total sympathy. I know what it's like when other skaters are offensive on or off the ice. My whole family were practically hounded out of our old club by a coach gone mad and her clique of followers. It started with the crazy coach telling her students (girls my daugher was friends with) that they could not talk to my daugher! Supposedly it was to keep them focussed on their practice, but, as time went on, the deranged one started being openly hostile to my daughter and to me, including interfering on the ice and having very loud public tantrums both off and on the ice. That rink had the best ice ever, but none of us will skate with that club again.

I do have a word of advice for you, based entirely on my own experience. Above all, keep your cool. Do not let this woman upset you. Your best defense right now is ignoring her. Soomer or later, she will get on everyone else's nerves too, or overstep her bounds to the point that the club/rink will take some action. If you react to her, you will draw the focus of the problem to yourself, which is what apparently happened today. Let her be alone in the "limelight".

[Mrs Redboots]

It's always difficult when you are trying to practice and other people are also doing their programmes; we had trouble this morning when our elite skaters played nothing but their fast waltz over and over and over again - we were trying to practice our Canasta Tango, and I don't know about you, but I simply can't skate a Tango when waltz music is playing!

I was a bit fed-up, but took the line that they won't be in for the next week, since they have their competition, and we will, since ours isn't for another week, so they could have today and we would practice in the week.

Of course, complete sods' law, as soon as my husband had left for work, so did they - and the next people up played nothing but Tango music......

[Jillianioso]

I've always been taught my whole skating career to not let anyone's comments affect me. Don't let how other people skate affect me either. I think maybe you should re-read your first post and realize how silly it sounds for a mature woman to storm off the ice and interrupt meetings and whatnot. Maybe you should practice ignoring.

[garyc254]

At my Monday night adult skate, a new guy showed up about a month ago. He's pop on his headphones and skate right through anyone that was in his way. All evening he cut off ice dancers, interrupted freestylers, broke through on a small group lesson, even forced a couple of hockey jocks out of his way. We were all angry at his antics.

The regular crowd watches out for each other, whether you be dancing, freestyle, hockey, or speedskater. Oh sure, we occasionally cut each other off, but never on purpose.

The following week, we decided that we were going to hold our ground and he was going to have to move. So we did.

Haven't seen him since.

I found out later that he had this same intimidating reputation at two other rinks.

[dobiesk8r]

Black Sheep, perhaps your cat's health issue is affecting you right now? In any event, I agree completely with Jillianioso. Storming off and complaining to management is not going to do anything but draw attention to you. (And not in a good way) Perhaps you should have an adult-to-adult chat with this woman, rather than trying to draw others into what is basically your issue. She may be the age of your mother, but you are both grown-ups.

I mean this in the kindest way, because you sound like a very nice person yourself, albeit a bit sensitive.

[manleywoman]

Originally posted by skaternum
Black Sheep, I'm not trying to be belligerent or insulting, but I've noticed a trend in your posts over the last year or so. Someone does something to you, like deny you a part in an ice show or keep you from teacing or insult you on the ice. Then you get offended. It seems like you're really, really overly sensitive or paranoid. Why is everyone always "against you"? Why is everyone always bullying you? Is there more to this story?
[/B]


Originally posted by Black Sheep
It's not my fault. It's just one of those trends in which bad things happen to good people.


I don't think skaternum is saying you're a bad person at all. I think skaternum is pointing out that you tend to offend very easily, and that you beleive everyone is always "against you."

I think skaternum is suggesting that you don't need to make everything that happens on the ice about you, or that it's always them-against-you. The vast majority of the time skaters are simply concentrating on what they are doing in the moment...sometimes we cut people off accidentally (and it is our fault), sometimes we get cut off by others (and it's their fault)...whatever. Apologize if you need to, accept an apology if you need to, and move on. It happens to all of us, and there's no need to take it personally.

Of course there's the occasional idiot who is out to hurt our feelings or who does deliberately cut us off, but you seem run into them more often than anybody here on this forum. So my opinion is that you just take some of these incidents more as an affront to you than necessary. Don't worry about others so much. Just skate and enjoy yourself! Skating is fun!

[Black Sheep]

What do you think of one who yells at you while you are doing your program, rather than waiting until you finish it? That is what this woman did to me, and I think that anyone would be offended by that....

[Lutzgirl]

look black sheep i think you are taking things way over the top here.......skating is a very controversial sport and this lady WAS RUDE ! and i cant say she wasnt. Bu the next time you see her go up to her and speak politley and tell her how you feel ,im shure she will understand.
And if not she is not worth it and in future just stay away from her.........shes just weird!



But please dont be so offended stand up for yourself and everything will be just fine!


Way to Go! Lutzgirlxoxoxoxo
Beive in your self and you can achieve anything

[Black Sheep]

Practicing ignoring sounds like a great idea, but will it really work? This crazy lady is rather tough!

[dbny]

Originally posted by Black Sheep
Practicing ignoring sounds like a great idea, but will it really work? This crazy lady is rather tough!

Ignoring her is not likely to stop her rude behavior, but it will keep you on the high road. As she goes along offending people, you will start to see others catch your eye when she does it to you, just a silent acknowledgement of kinship. You cannot lose by keeping cool.

BTW, I haven't perceived you as over sensitive. Maybe that's because my daughter knew she was being singled out for rotten treatment long before I did, and I thought she was being too sensitive until the crazy coach became more obvious with her harrassment. In any case, too sensitive or not, the advice is the same - keep cool, let it roll off your back. Tell us all about it instead!

[Chico]

I'm an adult skater. I find that most of the kids I skate with are very kind to me as a skater, and I try to do the same for them. The rink is only so big and we need to be polite to each other. There are times when I get in a little persons way, and times when they get in mine. There is no way this doesn't happen at times nomatter how much you try not too. Nobody is being unkind or rude, it just happens. Could it be that you scared her? I've had this happen a few times. Maybe she snapped out of fear. Maybe, she is a pain. If so, keep an extra good eye out for her. This way your "safe" from grumps. We have someone like this at my rink. We just give her extra space.

Chico

[dooobedooo]

You are both adult skaters, and them seems to be an undercurrent of rivalry going on here.

Just ignore it, smile and enjoy your skating. Why waste your mental focus on this lady, when you should be directing it all at your own progress and enjoyment. Don't get drawn in.

If it is really bugging you, change one or two practices to times when she won't be there. This is a practical suggestion, and personal pride (ie. "why should I move?") doesn't come into it: your personal pride should be directed at your own skating, your own relative progress, and your own standing in your skating community.

[Mrs Redboots]

The thing is, Black Sheep, not to let her behaviour spoil your practice, or your day for that matter. I can understand that you feel angered and irritated when she shouts at you, but you might just want to say "Why should I let her dictate my emotions?" and get on with your skating. Finish your programme - skate round her if you have to - and perhaps then say to her, "Look, if you don't mind, I usually ask people not to interrupt me when I'm practising, as I find it ruins my concentration" or words to that effect. After that, she won't dare speak to you unless you're off the ice having a coffee.....

[JDC1]

Do your best to shrug it off. We have a number of "yellers" and rink hogs and people who will barrel right at you regardless of what you are doing. When it's possible/necessary I'll straighten them out nicely after I've finished what I was doing. If it happens again just say "I'm doing my program and this is MY time so you need to adjust your practice accordingly" and then do your program, if you need to cut her off or say "excuse me " whatever, that's general rink policy everywhere the skater doing their program has right of way and if she skates at the level you're suggesting she knows this. I had a younger chicky (much,much better skater than I) "buzz me " I actually felt her skirt hit my leg, it wasn't an accident she was skating forward and "Flounced" by. I was tempted to say a few choice words but just shrugged if off and gave her the chance never to do it again and she hasn't. I later found out she hates sharing the ice with low free stylers and dancers, well it's not my fault the rink puts us together, but now that I know that's what's goign on I don't take it personally.

[Lutzgirl]

I really wouldnt let this skater get yo you ! She is probably a very nice person but you probably scared her!

I dont mean to sound rude but maybe she is jealous of you and/or your program?
You never No ??
Some people are very weird and it cant be helped!
I think ignoring here is the best way because if she knows she isnt getting to you then she will stop!
I am a child and this is like a bullying situation at my school so dont worry do what the teacher says (IM THE TEACHER)
nO im just kidding !
Really its just jealousey that i am thinking about right now !
And go ahead do your program right infront of her face again! Feel proud about yourself! SHE WILL HATE IT BELIVE ME!

And then she will finally realize that you are better than her so go ahead and be ***** she was to you!

Good luck on perfecting you solo!

L8er lutzgirlxoxox