How much has fear held you back?

[dbny]

More and more, I have come to believe that my fear is my single greatest challenge. There are things that I know I can do, I can feel exactly how, but I choke up with fear. FI brackets are one example. I am doing them at the boards, where I can just touch the wall as I make the turn. BO threes are another example. I was doing them for a while, got scared and stopped. Did some tonight with just a spot from hubby, but then stiffened up and they were gone.
I'm also very afraid of FI threes, but I don't have the same feel for them that I do for the brackets and and BO threes. How have you dealt with your fear to overcome it?

[blurrysarah]

I don't think you are alone, I'm pretty sure most skaters have this fear. There are some (rare) days when I simply couldn't give two hoots about falling, so I'll really throw myself into my jumps and accomplish things I'd been having trouble on for weeks. Then the next week, I'll regress back to where I was - scared about hitting the ice. Similar thing with synchro, there are footwork sequences I *KNOW* I can do in our programs, I do them all the time by myself. But put that music on when we do a program run through and I just freeze up.

One thing I've noticed is the difference between male + female skaters and how fast they progress. Ever seen little boys who just have no qualms about hurling themselves around attempting triples while females of the same age appear more hesitant? That sort of thing. I know it doesn't speak for ALL females (specifically the Midori Ito's of the world ;) ) but there's a definite trend at my rink.

[Figureskates]

I definitely relate here.

It has been worse since I fell and dislocated my shoulder. However, I have found 2 things.

One, fear varies from skate time to skate time. I found that when i am not feeling great or I ache, the fear is worse when I feel really good.

Two, I find the fear factor diminishes the longer I am out on the ice. i found that if I try to get out and skate a half hour before a lesson, I have less of a fear factor when trying or working on new things. If I go out and have a lesson immediately, I am spending more energy in trying to compensate.

Does it ever go away? i don't think so. We differ from kids in learning new things in skating. Kids mimic, adults analyze. Part of the analyzation process is that I could fall and hurt myself doing this. I think it's nature's way of protecting us from breaking are increasingly more fragile bones.

[AshBugg44]

Fear doesn't hold me back much, whether it's working on my axel or competing.

[dbny]

Originally posted by AshBugg44
Fear doesn't hold me back much, whether it's working on my axel or competing.

For one very big reason: youth! I don't remember being afraid of falling as a roller dancer, when I was a teenager, and we all took some very bad falls.

Guess I should have directed this thread specifically to the over 35 crowd, although I think I would have been less scared of falling even 10 years ago, at 46.

[Chico]

Yes, I can relate to having fear some days and on some skills often. And yes, fear does make you hold back and hold your your body line in strange and unusal ways. I have have worked on something all morning the day before, and felt comfortable, only to step on the ice the following day to have panic attacks about trying the same skill that day. Usually this fear goes away with warm up, but not always. I have learned to listen to my body on these days because bad things can happen. I can do skills that I've been told are hard, but can do well because I like them or want to. They feel comfortable to me. Or, maybe fun. Some skills that are easy, I find difficult because I don't like the way they make me feel. Not feeling comfortable pushes my fear button. Fear doesn't have to be reasonable. =-) And yes, I have found that my ability or not has everything to do with what I'm thinking/feeling.

Chico

[MissIndigo]

I definitely think fear has held me back somewhat. With the experience I had skating when I was younger, and the time I've been in it now, I feel I should probably be attempting axels out on the ice. Not yet. When I started back nearly three years ago, within six months I was landing salchow and loop again. Then, that summer, I had a fall on a loop jump that sprained a wrist and both pinky fingers. The next year, I had a fall on a flip jump that resulted in me hitting my head on the ice. I've been reluctant to try the flip since.

I've concentrated more on spinning, and can do spins up through the layback. I can do a layback but a loop scares the beejeezus out of me.

I'm limited with time too, as most adults are, and it's not getting any easier with demands at school increasing and the advent of the MITF test structure. I am so focused on moves right now that I've lost some interest in freestyle; I'm hoping that feeling doesn't persist as it can be easy to burn oneself out with moves if you're not careful with the pacing. I'm feeling it now, yet I keep on keeping on.

[Chico]

Forgot to answer this! Fear hasn't held me back from doing anything I WANT. I push past this when I want the skill. It has held me back on things, the lutz pops to mind, because it's not "important" to me. I want a 2 loop so I push past any worries. I kinda sort dislike the lutz, so my fear of this jumps holds me back. I haven't ever really liked the back spin either until recently. It gave me heart failure. Now, all of a sudden I'm inspired to work past this fear and I'm "getting" the skill. Guess there hope for the lutz some day.

Chico

[MissIndigo]

Originally posted by Chico
And yes, I have found that my ability or not has everything to do with what I'm thinking/feeling.

Thank you for saying this because I can relate very well. In my skating environment, I am fortunate to work with coaches who can appreciate the adult psyche. I know the coaches want us to do our best and push us to do our best, but they are more forgiving of our comfort zones. I was working in a group lesson one day just for kicks when I had that fall on a jump where I hit my head. The instructor was an overzealous college student that did not get my point of not "feeling" the move and thus encouraged me to try it and...well. (I don't know why I listened to her at that moment.)

I also feel that as adults we listen to our bodies well, as we should in order to avoid unnecessary injury. This of course doesn't mean not taking risks in order to learn an element, but we know more or less when we're strong enough to try. If not this day, another time.

[TashaKat]

I'm not so afraid of falling or whatever (idiot :roll: ) even after my recent 'adventures'! My main fear is about not being able to do something and looking stupid! Daft, I know, but I have this perfectionist streak which tells me that I SHOULD be able to do something first time and if I can't it's a problem ...... logically I know how crazy this sounds! I don't do something unless I know that I'm going to do it half decently and beat myself up dreadfully if I 'fail'!!!

Psychologist please .... EMERGENCY!!!!

The 'head' though does have SO much to do with skating. I can TELL when I'm not going to do something because I THINK about it as I'm doing it instead of letting it 'just happen'.

x

[Mrs Redboots]

My coach tells me that I would be an infinitely better skater if I weren't so afraid.....

[JDC1]

Fear constantly holds me back, not from trying but from accomplishing.!! I still have a fear on my left edge work of allowing my body to tilt towards the "circle" or "center" and that's really affecting my ice dancing. My fear is serious injury, I simply don't have the lifestyle that could tolerate it, I take a bus and subway to work and I have to constantly walk to get anywhere it would be beyond inconvenient. BUT I work past my fear, I was terrified to do a waltz jump but within months was trying Lutz's!! I think I'm like Mrs. Redboots if I could let go of some of the fear I'd be a much better skater. And yeah most teens and kids have less fear, that's the nature of the beast, learning to skate at 37 is WAAYY different than at 7 or 17.

[quarkiki2]

How much has fear held me back? Lots.

But, like all of you, some days are better than others. Last Saturday was a great day -- I actually got into the air on my 1/2 flip. Not more than an inch, but for a fraction of a second I didn't have either of my blades on the ice and that's a terrifying place for me.

I think part of being an adult skater is realizing that an injury WILL have an impact on your life.
1. You have to pay for treatment. My parents spent thousands of dollars straightening my teeth and I have no urge to knock them all out and pay for dentures so that I can eat.
2. Your mobility is essential to your lifestyle. There's no one to cary me up the stairs if I blow out my knee!

I also know that I'm falling from a higher distance than my kid skater buddies and I have more weight behind the fall -- so I know I'll have a harder fall than they will.

I'm a very cautious girl -- I haven't fallen on anything but a lunge in a year (until last Synchro practice where I landed on hands and knees). And I basically sat down out of the lunge. I don't like skating so fast that I feel out of control or like the only way to stop is to hurl myself into the boards.

My current instructor is pretty good about making sure that I know that he sees that I understand what I'm supposed to be doing. He'll say "OK. I would pass your 1/2 flip because you are doing it technically correctly, but just not getting into the air -- you're doing a 1/2 flip step, but it's absolutely right. I know you understand the concept." In fact, he did say that. And he's said that he would rather someone go slowly and understand than fly out there half-a$$ed and sloppy. "I can tell that SHE'S (me) doing her 1/2 flip, but yours is so sloppy I can't tell what it is -- even though it's faster and higher."

[LoopLoop]

Fear definitely holds me back on jumps. The annoying thing is that it is completely subconscious fear. On the pole I can do perfect double sals and double loops, with no help from my coach other than holding the pole (no extra lift). But on my own I just don't commit to the jump and pull in the same way. My coach tells me that physically I should be able to do up to a double lutz, the question is whether my head will allow me to do the doubles. If only there were a special deal on lobotomies for skaters...

[dbny]

Originally posted by quarkiki2
I think part of being an adult skater is realizing that an injury WILL have an impact on your life.

Yes, my fear has been considerably greater since I broke my wrist on the BI edge pattern. I have finally become able to do the pattern without remembering that fall every time. I had broken my right arm/wrist twice before, when I was 5 and again at 15. Neither time left a lasting impression on me. This time was sooo different!

[Mel On Ice]

I used to be quite fearless as a child, falling off bikes, out of trees, climbing anything and everything.

Then I got glasses and was told, sternly by my father, that I can't let anything happen to them because they couldn't afford to get me another pair.

Then I got old, and falling hurts.

[Lutzgirl]

Thanks for Mentioning this because this is one of my biggest put downs in skating it is like if i fall or do something that hurts after i just give up and hardly even try !!! My coach is always telling me off for giving excuses!

But dont worry i am learning to overcome this and so will you in time!:lol: :lol: :lol :

[Stormy]

I also used to be fearless as a child, and I was (am) a real tomboy. :) But now that I'm older....falling hurts more than I remember! It's everything that was already mentioned...fear of getting hurt and not being able to skate, the pain of falling, further to fall, ad nauseum. Even though I've hit the ice hundreds of times, I still have that fear!

Like today, on my first double loop attempt, I fell pretty bad (for me) and bruised my hip. It actually took a while for me to get up. After that, I put my left foot down on every attempt, to keep myself from falling. I couldn't help it. It's the same on the axel. It's got height and rotation but I can feel myself putting my left foot down on almost every single jump. My coach tells me I need to fall to get it landed on one foot. I don't know how to overcome it. The axel is fastly becoming the most expensive thing I've ever bought!! :)

[jenlyon60]

I blew out my left knee about 4 years ago... when I first started skating again, I definitely was afraid of re-injuring it.

This spring when I started working on the Rocker Foxtrot, I messed up my right knee, and I have been very afraid of working on RF since then... spent the summer working on MITF and Tango.

[icedancer2]

I'm starting to find that as I get older that I am getting more fearful -- falls definitely hurt more and take a lot more time to recover from -- a fall can make me sore for days, sometimes requiring a chiropractic or other treatment to get me right again.

Not fun.

Also having my eyesight getting worse as the years go by makes things more difficult -- I wear progressive bifocal lenses off the ice, but have always skated without my glasses -- the progressive lenses make it difficult to see the ice as anything but a blur -- you're always having to turn your head to get the right focus and as we all know, where you put your head makes all the difference in the direction you are going, so that is more difficult...

Also finding things I used to find simple are more difficult. The Killian and Paso and Quickstep are just too darn fast, skating with whacky partners at social dance sessions is harder, etc. etc.

But I still maintain that I want to be skating until I drop dead, even if it's just stroking around!!!

[dbny]

Originally posted by icedancer2
Also having my eyesight getting worse as the years go by makes things more difficult -- I wear progressive bifocal lenses off the ice, but have always skated without my glasses -- the progressive lenses make it difficult to see the ice as anything but a blur -- you're always having to turn your head to get the right focus and as we all know, where you put your head makes all the difference in the direction you are going, so that is more difficult...

I wear them too, and hate them! They are a necessary evil, IMO. If you can afford it, try the single use contacts. I wear them only for skating, so a 6 month supply lasts me almost a year, cutting the cost to that of the two week ones. If you belong to one of the buying clubs like Costco, BJ's or Sam's Club, you can get them eaven cheaper. I have astigmatism, but got the regular contacts and have found that I don't notice the astigmatism on the ice because everything is at a distance and I'm not reading anything, except maybe the clock on the wall.

[icedancer2]

Thanks -- this is good advice -- so you use the single-use contact lens with just your distance perscription and that works for yo for skating?

I also have astigmatism -- haven't considered contacts at all for years since I tried them once in the '70's -- I know the technology has changed quite a lot since then!

[dbny]

Originally posted by icedancer2
Thanks -- this is good advice -- so you use the single-use contact lens with just your distance perscription and that works for yo for skating?

I also have astigmatism -- haven't considered contacts at all for years since I tried them once in the '70's -- I know the technology has changed quite a lot since then!

I also wore contacts in the 70's and quit. They are totally different now. Absolutely no pain. They actually do make contacts that correct for astigmatism (toric lenses), but I didn't think it was worth the extra cost since I only use them for skating. Your opthalmologist or optometrist should be able to show you what things would look like without the astigmatism correction when you go in for an exam. I could see right away that it wouldn't bother me on the ice, and it really never has. I have driven with them in a few times, and had no problem with that either, though I don't know if I would want to do it when I need to read signs on unfamiliar roads. I got myself a cheap ($2.50) pair of reading glasses at a discount store to use if I happen to need to read anything up close while wearing my contacts.

[jazzpants]

I've had toric lense and couldn't handle them because they were non-permeable. My eyes dried out quickly and was irritated within an hour. No thanks! My eyesight isn't bad enough where I can't skate w/o them, so I just go w/o. Haven't crashed into people b/c of my eyesight. (I've crashed into people for not looking behind me on my back crossovers though...) :oops: :oops: :oops:

As for the original post, it's EXACTLY the fact that I'm BIIIIIG chicken that I'm not progressing that quickly. BOC BOC BOC BOC... (flapping wings/arms...) :x I wish I wasn't, but my self preservation is very strong. :D

[jenlyon60]

I skate with my glasses except when competing or testing dance. Even then I generally warm up with the glasses until maybe right at the end of the warm-up. Then take them off for the real skate. I trust my coach and my skating to ensure I don't run into the barriers.

[Mrs Redboots]

Originally posted by icedancer2
Thanks -- this is good advice -- so you use the single-use contact lens with just your distance perscription and that works for yo for skating?

I also have astigmatism -- haven't considered contacts at all for years since I tried them once in the '70's -- I know the technology has changed quite a lot since then! The snag is, they don't make daily disposables for astigmatism - guess how I know that! They do, however, make monthly disposable ones, and I find these acceptable. Forgot them this morning though, and skated blind, which I'm getting better at. If I do have to cut back on skating, I probably won't buy lenses any more and just skate blind. Let's hope that won't happen!

[dbny]

Annabel, they also make two-week disposables for astigmatism. I just got them for my daughter.

[plinko]

I'm afraid of falling on my rebuilt knee and kneecap (thanks, basketball). No so much the pain, because 10 years later it's still especially sensitive, even with a kneepad, but because of how long it would take to get fixed again and how tedious the rehab is. Skating is part of my strengthening program, always has been, but because there is this "don't fall on the knee" voice in my head, I take weird falls as a result to avoid the kneecap. I almost think I need to take lessons on how to fall on my butt, properly because my elbows are taking a beating.

[Mrs Redboots]

Originally posted by dbny
Annabel, they also make two-week disposables for astigmatism. I just got them for my daughter. Hmm, don't think they've arrived here yet.... but maybe. I'll enquire when next I have a check-up, but as I wear them so rarely, I tend to make a 1-month pair last six weeks anyway!

[NickiT]

I think that in general nearly all adults are held back to a certain degree due to fear. I know for a fact that having suffered an extremely unpleasant ankle injury after a fall on the ice four years ago, I am especially wary now, and do get paranoid about twisting or re-injuring my ankle. It doesn't help that the scews are there as a permenant reminder and that skating actually causes them to hurt. Having said that I do try to reason with myself that I'd skated for 8 years before this had happened and over three years since with no major injuries, but having hurt myself badly once, it's easy to feel afraid.

Nicki

[icenut84]

Originally posted by TashaKat
My main fear is about not being able to do something and looking stupid! Daft, I know, but I have this perfectionist streak which tells me that I SHOULD be able to do something first time and if I can't it's a problem ...... logically I know how crazy this sounds! I don't do something unless I know that I'm going to do it half decently and beat myself up dreadfully if I 'fail'!!!

That's not just you, don't worry. I'm just the same. It's worse if I'm on a session with a bunch of better skaters (yesterday there were a bunch of people doing doubles and one girl trying triple salchows...) - I feel a bit stupid if I can't do something that's a lot easier than the stuff everyone else is doing. I know that's stupid in itself, that everyone went through the different levels, but I still don't like it. I just get really frustrated at myself. I feel like I *should* be able to do certain things.

I also have a semi-fear when it comes to jumps. I'm ok if I'm in a lesson, but I don't feel as confident practicing jumps on my own. I haven't practiced *any* for ages! Back in March before my old rink closed, I was learning the flip and landed it a few times, one time even felt really good. Since I haven't had lessons though, I've stopped practicing it. I just can't get myself to try it on my own.

Daft, I know. :( Only one thing for it I guess... get me some lessons!!!

[Black Sheep]

These days, what holds me back from landing decent axels and doubles is not fear, but "grown-up" problems that weigh heavily on my mind. As a result, they seem to weigh heavily on my body, too.

For example:

1. High medical bills that my insurance won't cover so I have to pay them out of my pocket.

2. My cat having random accidents around the house.

3. Certain people not returning calls about my skating-instructor job to-be. I'm trying to plan my competitions for the year, and I'm wondering if I can get a weekend off in November and one off in December in order to compete. This type of communication is supposed to be a two-way street, but so far it has not worked!

4. Having to skip the Ice Theatre show this March in order to compete at Midwestern Sectionals (just my luck, they had to fall on the same weekend this year!). Will this great scarifice be worth it?

:roll: :( :frus: :cry:

[Chico]

lynne ( I still remember from the old days.)

Not looking "good" is my fear too. =-) I don't "like" skills that I feel don't. Bad I know. And, I probably look like hell doing things I feel look good, but my perception is that they don't. =-)I love the challenge of improving, but I don't want to start looking really sad. =-)Weird huh? I think this comes from not wanting to look like a silly old fool!

Chico

[melanieuk]

Fear has tried to hold me back a bit, skating as an adult, especially on the axel. This jump has caused sore falls and made me stop trying axels for months at a time because of the scary face/chin falls! .:roll:
I tried to compensate by wearing crash pads - but they didn't save my chin! ;)
I've fallen on back 3s :oops: before too, yet I didn't get scared of those.
Also on backspins - I have had a few near death/near miss experiences with those, yet I kept on doing them! :roll:
I've had scary moments with my blade slipping away on the entry to a camel spin, yet I loved doing them.

I thought often about hynoptherapy for the axel fear - but must've concluded it wouldn't work.
:!: :roll:

[sk8clean]

My biggest fear is trying the move for the fist time. Six months ago I had the lovely experience of falling on my chin doing a spiral. I have been fearful of them ever since, and before that fall the was my favorite move for 4 years.I have learned in general if I have a bad NOT to try that move again until the next time I get on the ice. If I keep trying to get the move right I fall more and the fear gets worse. But if I wait to try the move the next time I get on its a thing of the past and and I am less likely to fear it.