Other activities outside of skating?

[Daisy2]

My daughter started Jr. High school this year and I was feeling that she needed to be involved with something in school. We decided on cheerleading. We started it and it just didn't work out because of her skating schedule. Our travel time to the rink is 1 hour. We just couldn't fit it in since we travel so far and preparing for regionals.

I am just wondering what someone else thinks of only having skating in a child's life. I feel like she is missing out on other experiences but she continues to tell me that it is fine that she only skates. She does not have any close friends in school and I worry about that. All of her friends are her skating buddies. Am I worrying for nothing?

[Candleonwater]

Granted my daughter is just starting out in school, however, she skates 5 times a week and we squeeze a dance class in there as well. Periodically she mentions wanting to pick up an additional activity but the schedule just won't allow. This year I've changed her skating schedule to give her time to be a kid - skating in the am... so we'll have to see how that works.

[flippet]

I'd say that if your daughter keeps telling you that just skating is fine--believe her! As long as the desire to skate comes from her and not you, then if she doesn't care to do anything else at this point--why 'force' her to be your definition of a 'normal kid'? Also, as long as she has friends (regardless of where they're located), why are you worrying? Perhaps she doesn't have much in common (and doesn't care to) with the kids at school. If she doesn't seem distressed about it, don't worry yourself about it either. People are who they are, and like who and what they like--and that includes your daughter. As long as she's happy, be happy for her, and let her be. :)

[tazsk8s]

Taz Jr. has always been involved in "something else" along with skating, but that has always been at her request. Up until this past summer that "something else" was dance - ballet, tap, and jazz. She originally started with ballet as a supplement to her skating, but found that she had a knack for the others as well and adored her dance teacher, did the competition team, etc. A year ago her adored teacher left the studio, and we noticed a huge change in her attitude towards dance. By the time the spring recital rolled around she'd had enough...new teachers were just "okay", not great, and her studio friends had mostly moved on to other things as well. We agreed that if she'd rather be elsewhere when she was supposed to be dancing, that it was time to move on, which she did after the recital was over.

This fall she started marching band at the middle school and loves it. This again was at her request. It is too new an activity to know if there will be a lot of conflicts with skating or not (band camp did put a bit of a kink in her summer schedule at the rink but we knew that was going to happen ahead of time). Dance always seemed to have a knack for throwing something last-minute at us that required us to rearrange skating yet again, but we've got a list of band performances for the fall semester and it looks manageable. She does have a lot of friends at the rink, as well as in band, and seems happy. If she were to want to drop one or the other someday, it would be her decision and fine with us as long as she fulfilled any commitments she'd already made (competitions already paid for, or completing the semester at school).

I guess what I'm trying to say is that if your daughter is happy with her choices, then I wouldn't worry about it. Having a lot of friends "at school" is not the be-all, end-all that some would like us to think it is. Junior had a miserable year socially at school last year, due in large part to being stuck with the crowd in her class that she just did not fit in with. Luckily she had her friends at the rink to pull her through and things actually seem to be getting better for her socially now that she is at the middle school.

[Mile 129]

With apologies, this subject always gets me going. In a country that worships at the shrine of diversity and espouses the value of finding one's own way, the system still acts as of there is only one way to learn or get an education. Until a few years ago, I stridently bought into this dictate. I thought home or alternative schooling would be tantamount to child abuse. Not following the absolute academic curriculum was to deny success. Not providing a social environment with thousands of other kids was to deny socialization. This thinking seems to be reflected in USFSA's approach to academic recognition as well. If a young person is not enrolled in a "real" school, how can they be getting a quality education? After all, kids schooled by parents or non-state-licensed teachers aren't really held to the same standards as students at "real" schools, are they?
Ya, right!

Thankfully, my heavy school volunteering taught me otherwise. Just as some people are too gentle to live among the wolves, some students learn and thrive when exposed to customized, individualized attention. I'll take a parent with dedication to education and an understanding of his/her child before a burned out educator with a PhD.

Here's a bulletin: Not all kids are the same. Nor do they process information the same way. Some kids know their minds and discover their lives' passions early in life. Some continue to flounder in their 40's. You know your child better than anyone and you care about your child more than anyone (and you don't get paid to care). If your child is happy with skating as the center of his/her life -- good on her/him! There are wonderful kids at the rink who share the passion -- or if they don't, can still be good friends. Parties, sleepovers, concerts, shopping trips, and many more activities are part of the lives of our rink's serious skaters. Travel to competitions provides more opportunities for friendship with different people, culture and geography. Plus, through church youth activities, they get to join the choir, act in plays, do community outreach and take mission trips to help challenged neighborhoods throughout the country. Finally, take a car ride with a bunch of skaters and turn the radio to a classical station. You'll be gratified to hear how much they know about quailty music and appreciation for choreography.

These are your children, not the state's. If something doesn't seem right to you, do something about it. If you would rather teach your child yourself, go for it and don't let the people who are afraid to step outside the well-worn cowpath tell you different. And if you're afraid that skating is too much your child's focus, take another look. See if it's just the on-ice moves that makes the child happy-- or is it a combination of the physical activity, the environment, the opportunities and the wonderful people with whom he/she interacts.

I was fortunate to recognize early on that my daughter wasn't thriving in a formal school environment. She did well academically -- but with no joy. One of the greatest gifts I've received is the privilege of home-schooling her and working with alternative educational programs. Her social life hasn't suffered, nor has her perspective of reality. And the poise and athleticism she's learned through skating makes her equally at home on a fashion runway and in a community softball game.

Bottom line is I don't know why people get so bent out of shape when you talk about home-schooling or allowing children to focus on their passions. Are they afraid the world-order will somehow topple if traditional education is altered in the least? Anyway, stay close to your child and they will show you the way. You will always know better than anyone what is best for your child.

Rant over.

[land64shark]

My 7th grader has been far too busy with her skating schedule to possibly fit in any other activities. She was "fine" with it too. But this year I arranged her schedule so that she only skates in the mornings before school instead of before AND after. (School starts at 9:45am.) There were many reasons for this change, most having to do with her two younger non-skating sisters and time for them. I had suggested many times in the past that I thought my (skating) daughter would make a good diver (as in springboard/platform diving). I was recently able to get her to give in and give it a try. It was do-able now because she was free after school. So I signed all three girls up for diving lessons. Well, she LOVES it. She's joining the junior team and is very happy that I pressed her into it.

She was "fine" with just skating because it was all she knew. But what about when the skating is over?

[blades]

8-)

though my high school was walking distance from the rink (well...climbing distance...less than a mile...but the school was about 450 feet up a hill!)...my junior and senior high school time was spent mostly at the rink...and so was my social life...from my "graduating class" came a national judge, a performance director for holiday on ice, and tonya harding's coach to name a few...a very driven and successful bunch...i've had the good fortune to maintain good friendships with many of the skaters i grew up with and feel like my life was enhanced by my involvement in skating...

that being said, there are those who live much fuller lives while being involved in other activities outside of skating...and if the skater has the resources, the time and the energy then do all you can...makes for a well rounded person...but, if skating is their only focus...so be it...just make sure that their formal education does not suffer, for not all skaters grow up to make their living (or their life) in skating...

[skatepixie]

Originally posted by land64shark
My 7th grader has been far too busy with her skating schedule to possibly fit in any other activities. She was "fine" with it too. But this year I arranged her schedule so that she only skates in the mornings before school instead of before AND after. (School starts at 9:45am.) There were many reasons for this change, most having to do with her two younger non-skating sisters and time for them. I had suggested many times in the past that I thought my (skating) daughter would make a good diver (as in springboard/platform diving). I was recently able to get her to give in and give it a try. It was do-able now because she was free after school. So I signed all three girls up for diving lessons. Well, she LOVES it. She's joining the junior team and is very happy that I pressed her into it.

She was "fine" with just skating because it was all she knew. But what about when the skating is over?

It never has to be over. Arent there enough adults on this bpard to show that?

Daisy-As someone who skates and does no other activitys-I would advise her to do what makes her happy. If thats skating, let her skate. Most of my friends arent from school. This is mostly due to the fact that my house is 1/2 an hour from my school. Im fine with it. In fact, ive never been happier.

Flippet-ITA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Mrs Redboots]

Originally posted by land64shark
She was "fine" with just skating because it was all she knew. But what about when the skating is over? I second what Skatepixie says - it doesn't ever have to end. But if it does, that will probably be because she's found something else to take its place.

[land64shark]

Skating can be "over" for a for many reasons other than when the child simply chooses to stop. I've seen alot of injuries at the rink lately, some possibly career ending. I've just seen a skater go off to college where the nearest rink is almost 2 hours away. Then there's the very popular reason of the realization that your kid is just not competitive enough anymore and it's not worth the insane expense to keep it up just for "fun".

You can take up many activities for "fun" at any age. But I'm thinking that kids that have been seriously training as a competitive skater would want to channel that competitiveness in another area if they were no longer skating.

I'm just saying that it may be difficult to start later on. My daughter was too busy to go out for the school's volleyball team in 6th and 7th grade. By next year's try outs, the other girls would have such an edge of experience over her that she'd never even make the team.

[skatepixie]

but thats no reason to encourage her to do it. It should be her idea first. Shes in 7th grade, not 3rd.....

most of your exmples (such as collage) are a choice. You can make sure that you go to a collage with a rink close by. As for getting hurt, she could still do it for fun or find something else to do then. As for not being competitive enough, well, cant they just do it for fun?

Im sorry, but I just dont buy "you have to do something else in case your skating falls apart." if shes dedicated and happy, thats a good thing.

[Mrs Redboots]

I agree, again. My daughter gave up when she went to university in a town without a rink, and although there are a couple of rinks which are relatively accessible, she couldn't find anybody to go with - a skating club was something her uni didn't provide, and not enough people were interested.

Look, 99 skaters out of 100, if not more, are not going to be elite. It is a terrific sport, you can go on competing lifelong (I know competitive skaters who are well into their 70s), but only a very, very few will even make it to their country's National Championships, never mind represent their country at European or World level. For the vast majority of us, skating, and competitions, are really only for fun, for exercise, and to see how good you can get.

As for the volleyball, whoever said she had to be in the first team? She can surely still play for fun, if she enjoys it? Why does she have to be the best at everything?

[Elsy2]

At age 14 I had to leave my gymnastic team because we moved. I was a bit devastated, but life did go on. What I did take from years of training was a love of sports and athletic activity in general, which has stayed with me all my life.

Now my daughter at age 15 has had a "career" ending injury. She will not compete in freestyle again. What is she doing? Well, she is still skating doing moves right now and passing tests. She continues to take jazz and enrolled in drama and voice classes. She will be in her first play this spring. She is going to be fine, and I'm glad to see that she is also self-motivated to take on new directions in her life.

[Dolly]

Originally posted by Daisy2

I am just wondering what someone else thinks of only having skating in a child's life. I feel like she is missing out on other experiences ... She does not have any close friends in school and I worry about that. All of her friends are her skating buddies. Am I worrying for nothing?

Here are my two cents:

My soon-to-be 14 year old (former competitive, now recreational skater)is finishing Junior High this year and has decided to volunteer in her school as a Prefect. She will do this when she is available, i.e., before class begins, over the recess break, over lunch, and sometimes when the school has parent/teacher meetings she will come by to arrange chairs in the gym, pass out info., help out the teacher in her classroom bringing messages to the office and things like that. She gets to know all the teachers and many of the 600 students, as a volunteer. It's different than being a member of the school band, sports team or drama group, where you really have to commit to the group and some of the time spent will be after classes.

She also takes ballet classes once a week (just bought new pointe shoes yesterday), skates three times/week and is working on tests (gold dances, skills and gets 2 group lessons a week on freeskate). She is also a member of the Junior Synchro team and practices once a week with them, and is a program assistant for two canskate sessions on the weekend. She is in the middle of tryouts now for cheerleaders at school and has joined a sewing class offered once a week, (free-of-charge) after school with her Home Ec. teacher. She told me last night that her Dance school is offering a FREE pilates class to ballet students once a week and she is hoping to be able to make it there.

Her "best" friends are her school friends and some of them have been her friends since Kindergarten. None of them skate. She has several (7 or 8) close skating friends, all her age, who are also on the synchro. team with her and they also coach together and socialize a lot at the rink. However, they don't go to her school and don't know any of her school friends. She doesn't hang out with them in her spare time either, going to movies, or the mall, etc. as she does with her school friends.

In my opinion, a child might be missing out on other things if she/he is ONLY involved in skating. But, if she wasn't skating, she may never be interested in getting involved in school activities anyway. Some children get involved; many do not, and don't feel they have missed out on anything. But if your daughter wants to make some friends at school, volunteering there throughout the school day, might be an option for her, to get to know the students and teachers. It's comforting to have a friend or two, no matter where you are ... at school, at the rink or at work. All the best to you and her.

[land64shark]

Originally posted by Mrs Redboots

As for the volleyball, whoever said she had to be in the first team? She can surely still play for fun, if she enjoys it? Why does she have to be the best at everything?

There is no second team in middle school. It's hard to have fun if you don't play because you didn't make the team. I wouldn't expect her to be "the best", not by a longshot. But you've got to make the team in order to play.

[Mrs Redboots]

Originally posted by land64shark
There is no second team in middle school. It's hard to have fun if you don't play because you didn't make the team. I wouldn't expect her to be "the best", not by a longshot. But you've got to make the team in order to play. Is there not a scratch side for the team to practice against? Or, indeed, some kind of after-school club, or a club that meets at your local sports centre? Usually there can be ways round these things..... at least, there can be in this country, and I expect it is the same where you live.

[skatepixie]

I dont think you would miss out on anything. I sure dont.... Ive never played at team sport...nor do I care to. I did at one time take dance, but it fell through because of my bad foot (my toes wont always come out of a point on my right foot). I dont really care, as long as Im skating...

[garyc254]

Your daughter is plenty old enough to know if she's happy with her recreational acitvities and the friends she has.

I never pushed my sons in sports or other activities. If they wanted to participate then I was there cheering them on. When they decided it was over, I talked with them to make sure their thought processes were correct, then supported them not participating.

If she's happy, then let her go for it.

[Lutzgirl]

If your daughtter wants to skate then let her skate !!!
I think she would tell you if not :)

[AshBugg44]

I have a drive similar to yours - about 45 minutes. I've always been involved in lots of school activities but it does cut into skating time - especially cheer! Try to get her involved in a club or two!

[skatepixie]

dont...not if she doesnt want it. Please...i actually BEG you not too. I see so many people doing things just because they're parents think its good. They end up just pretending to enjoy it.